FIFA Presidency

[Beerqueen]

Wasn't sure where to put this so I thought, to hell with it, I'll create a new thread.  So, FIFA President - obviously not Sepp Blatter.  Now Figo and Ginola are going for it.  But my choice is this guy - for those of you who don't know him he is hilarious @usasoccerguy on twitter.    Actually maybe I should've just started a thread to quote him - he calls Ballotelli Buyatelly, Dave is Azpildbdnamdjebskakebdfbdkwkfbfje etc. and this is his tweet for yesterday's goal - GOALSHOT! Branislav Abramovic kicks in the felony kick cross pass with his head to stain those score sheets

Anyway - his candidacy for president

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[Adam]

One of my favourite twitter accounts. Worryingly similar to real American commentators.

 

[Stim]

He can have my vote for free

 

[bazzablue]

                                                  FROM NEWSTHUMP (LOVE THE LAST LINE)

Robert Mugabe to run for FIFA presidency

In a shock last-minute development, Robert Mugabe has announced that he intends to run for the FIFA presidency.

It follows similar, surprising, last-minute announcements from David Ginola and Luis Figo.

“As a colossal bar steward, I feel I am a far more suitable candidate for the FIFA role than either David or Luis,†said Mr Mugabe from a hastily arranged press conference.

Many from the football world are unsure what to make of the announcement.

“He’s out-of-touch, homophobic and utterly corrupt,†said the Guardian’s Sid Lowe.

“Frankly, I can’t think of anyone more suited to the FIFA role.â€

FIFA presidencyAs FIFA president, Mr Mugabe would be expected to do up to five full day’s work each year.

His duties would include looking smug, eating really nice food and sexually molesting the secretary.

The perks of the job include millions of dollars in bribe money, a secret lair under a volcano, his own personal death squad, and a top of the range Ford Mondeo.

“Well, obviously my current position affords my many similar perks,†said Mr Mugabe.

“But I have always wanted a Mondeo.â€

Mr Mugabe’s intention to run for the FIFA presidency is expected to trigger a last-minute flurry of similar announcements from the likes of Vladimir Putin, Bashar Al-Assad, the ghost of Heinrich Himmler, and Noel Edmonds.

John Terry is said to be considering his position

 

[Charles Ryder]

Anyone but Blatter, it's that simple.

 

[Beerqueen]

Charles Ryder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WELCOME BACK!