Latest Sensational Story in the Press

[forbzy]

Did anybody see this article?

http://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Story/0,,2005672,00.htmlhttp://football.guardian.co.uk/News_Sto ... 72,00.html

My apologies if it was reported elsewhere but basically this journalist seems to have pushed his accusations even further than most. His sensational allegations are that:

1) Lippi is already lined up as next Chelsea boss - done deal

2) Roman has no interest in football and is prompted when he needs to react at games.

3) Roman is currently organizing a deal to strengthen a deal between Israel and Russia which will eventually lead to an invasion of Iran by the end of the decade!

Quite a set of accusations.

 

[BlueBeard]

He can't be serious, that article must have been written tongue-in-cheek. Either that, or the bloke's a total prat!

 

[forbzy]

I know. I kept waiting for the punchline and it never came. If he meant that as a true story I would have thought a libel case is on its way.

 

[Gem]

Ahh The Guardian. Waste of good tree.

 

[Liam]

Marcello Lippi does do an excellent John Virgo.

The rest is rubbish.

 

[Mod]

2) Roman has no interest in football and is prompted when he needs to react at games.

The 'Hate Chelsea' campaign is so fuelled by the media its unreal.

 

[Maksimov]

Speechless! Only in England...

If Roman has no interest in football, what is he gaining by financially helping the Russian national team?

I'll do my best impression of an English sports journalist and tell you all about it:

Russian national football team training camps are nothing but bootcamps for special troops that will be key to the Russian/Israeli-army's invasion of Iran. Guus Hidding was hired in order to make it look like a genuine attempt to improve Russia as a footballing nation. Hiddink has started to suspect something is not what it seems after the Russian FA demands that the players must carry Kalashnikov rifles during all training sessions and he has learned that shooting practice seems to mean something quite different in Russian FA approved training. The Russian players are actually secret agents and their military training starts at a very young age. To make it look like it is a real national team, the new soldiers are picked from the most talented Russian players and once the drill sergeants are sure the youngsters have what it takes, they are recruited into the army. After the basic training these secret agents go to clubs all around Europe to form an international network of espionage.

Even though Shevchenko is Ukranian, he is an undercover agent for the Russian/Israeli-army too. What do you think all that training on sand dunes was for? Helping him recover from injury and gain strength? Yeah, right...Sheva was just acclimatising so he'll be ready to move to the Great Salt Desert where he will lead the construction of a top secret armybase for the Russian/Israeli-army. He's not scoring goals because he is too tired after spending most of his nights preparing the plans and making sure the operation is moving ahead right on schedule.

German government is on to Roman's plans and have managed to infiltrate a spy into the Chelsea ranks. Ballack seems to just stroll around the pitch during the matches, but that's because he is only interested in keeping an eye on agent Shevchenko. Mourinho is also working for the German government and that is why Ballack is so often in the first eleven. Jose must make sure Ballack can do his real job as efficiently as possible. Roman is on to their plans and he wants to fire Jose and bring in a manager that shares his political views.

Remember, you read it here first! Sources? I've got the best source of all for my article: a vivid imagination!