Jokes Section 2

[dermott]

To the bastard that dumped their mattress outside my home, I don't know how you sleep at night.

You have been warned before.

 

[Boyne]

 

[dermott]

View attachment 40870

See me after school.

 

[Boyne]

See me after school.

Yes sir. Will I be asked to write out I must not tell bad jokes 500 times?!

 

[dermott]

Yes sir. Will I be asked to write out I must not tell bad jokes 500 times?!

 

[Boyne]

I got arrested for playing Engelbert Humperdinck records at full blast all night. Police released me…let me go.

 

[Scott]

Speaking of books, I am reading a book about anti-gravity it is impossible to put down.

 

[dermott]

I got arrested for playing Engelbert Humperdinck records at full blast all night. Police released me…let me go.

 

[dermott]

Speaking of books, I am reading a book about anti-gravity it is impossible to put down.

Behave.

 

[Boyne]

To help cure my obsession, I got rid of all my Dusty Springfield books. Now I just don’t know what to do with my shelf.

 

[terraloon]

To help cure my obsession, I got rid of all my Dusty Springfield books. Now I just don’t know what to do with my shelf.

Dusty Springfield did the summer season in Weymouth in the mid 60s.

My ex wife’s auntie was employed as her dresser and Dusty wanted her to tour with her and from what I can gather not just be her dresser !

https://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/24612267.singer-dusty-springfields-links-weymouth-dorset/

 

[terraloon]

Went to the doctors last week because every time I pass wind it sounds like it’s saying Honda

Dr told me I had an abscess. It appears that abscess makes the fart go Honda !

 

[dermott]

To help cure my obsession, I got rid of all my Dusty Springfield books. Now I just don’t know what to do with my shelf.

FFS.

 

[dermott]

Went to the doctors last week because every time I pass wind it sounds like it’s saying Honda

Dr told me I had an abscess. It appears that abscess makes the fart go Honda !

Leave it to @Boyne.

 

[OTL]

A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar...

She says, "Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"

The Russian replies, "I work for the KGB."

"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"

...."About you or about me?"

 

[dermott]

A woman is flirting with a Russian man at a bar...

She says, "Hi, handsome, what do you do for a living?"

The Russian replies, "I work for the KGB."

"Cool, tell me an interesting story!"

...."About you or about me?"

Come off it, that's actually funny. You're looking at a ban from this thread.

 

[Scott]